Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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