They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize