i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
