she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
how drunk are you?
Several
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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