Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Randomize
