The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
