We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
vagina is talking i cant
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize