Screwed.edu
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
it glows. i had to have it.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Randomize
