Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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