yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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