I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
