yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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