DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
And then my night got REAL pukey
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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