Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
