i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
