he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
she pinky promised me she was 18
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Randomize
