i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
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