I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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