White coat. Heels.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Quick, to the slutcave!
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
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