i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
