I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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