So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
