I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
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