i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Michael Bay diarrhea
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize