Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Randomize