Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Randomize
