i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Randomize
