I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
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