my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize