just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
just tell him i said nine months
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
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