then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
