I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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