I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
