Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
