Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
