1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
