Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
