well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
you told grandpa to call you daddy
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
