Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Randomize
