My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
