I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
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