What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
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