i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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