I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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