meet me or not, i'm out of control
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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