I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
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