Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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