Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize
