Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
