the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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