Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
