I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
