I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
you have to choose: penises or morals?
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
