I just pynch a tree in the face
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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