I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
