Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
