is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
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