I wish I could punch you in the face.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
my sisters under your porch take her home
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
