how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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