some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
