tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
