I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
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